Posted by: Peadar Ban | February 21, 2014



What Did I See?

What Did I See?

February is such a d—ed unpredictable month!  One wonders why the year bothers with it at all.

Dick the Weatherman has forecast a day of more than normal inclemency for the whole region.  It’s raining now on Upper Biscayne as if the prudent should be gathering the animals two by two.

Though quite unseasonably warm all that has done with the addition of the sheets of rain is turn the several feet of what would have been, despite the inconvenience for the servants of shoveling paths every which way in preparation for today’s event, the pleasant aspect of rolling meadows of snow into treacherous gray deeps of malevolently lurking gelato.

It is a bother to have to do this with such short notice, but think of what the bother would be if some of the shorter among us should have simply disappeared whilst strolling about.  I cannot bear the thought of emergency workers slogging through the the muck with their horrid equipment.  Nor would you wish us to, either.  But, simply leaving someone lost out there until warmer and drier times had come would, no pun intended, quite dampen the whole affair. Reluctantly, then, we have decided to cancel our plans for this afternoon’s and the year’s first Lawn Party here at Biscayne On The Hill.

We will, of course, as is our custom of long standing, donate what had been prepared for your refreshment to the Home for Friendless Children, at Gloomy Bottoms, who are very grateful every year for our leavings, our tastefully rearranged scraps.  Cook takes great prize, she says, in transforming trash into treasure.  On his return from performing this little kindness, Benson always tells us how pleased Mr. Grool the Director, says his dull eyed, hollow cheeked little charges are to have something that actually has flavor from time to time.

So, we may console ourselves that the caviar is not entirely wasted.  Of course, Hyacinth, having insisted, will have a bit for Mr. Jinks, her cat.

I apologize for the short notice, but there is nothing else I could think of to do.  And, I do hope that you have not been left without anything to do today.  For our part, we will spend the day thinking how nice it will be not to have to stand around smiling at you.

Do not think that this has in any way shaken our faith in Mr. Gore’s pronouncements about Global Warming.  If anything we remain even more convinced of the inevitability.  Next year’s event, here, will be planned with that in mind.  Dress accordingly, or not at all…if you dare.


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